Comedian Jim Gaffigan's funny birthday quote is the ideal way to wish a loved one a happy birthday. It proclaims them. A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". Texas | Arknights Wiki - GamePress Happy 60th Birthday. We share comprehensive travel guides and tips for anyone traveling around America. Happy birthday to my favorite person who's still younger than me! 4. Famous People From Texas & Celebs Born In Texas. 7. ". ), I have a good friend whos a Texas girl. He blames everything on the weather or his raising.He got caught in his own loop.He came close to the dollar knife. birthday psd clipart gold. Today you are you! 90+ Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes for Friends | LoveToKnow Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. -Unknown, Years ago someone pointed out that Texas is hell on women and horses. Hot as Hades.Hot as the hinges (or hubs) of hell.Hot as a depot stove.Hot as a two-dollar pistol.Hot as a billy goat in a pepper patch.Hot as a summer revival.Hot as a pot of neck bones.Hot as a stolen tamale.Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk.Hotter than whoopee in woolens.Hotter than a honeymoon hotel.Hotter than a burning stump.Hotter than blue blazes.Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.So hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs. 3. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. It congratulates you, on your arrival, at having escaped from the slop pails of the other 49 states. Alistair Cooke, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legenda song, a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. Rosemary Kent, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. They took a great failure and turned it into a tourist destination that makes them millions. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. The Texanist: Contemplating the Texas Exit. It's your birthday! (A hangover. Famous Birthday Quote William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. Have a blast! -Molly Ivins, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a d*** about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. Happy 70th Birthday! Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Here's hoping you hear your husband say, "I have a present for youand it's jewelry!" I'm thinking of you today. Robb Walsh. Inspirational Birthday Quotes There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. Count your life by smiles, not tears. All joyous things and more. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. Texans dont bury their failures. Shes got some snap in her garters.Hes got plenty of arrows in his quiver.Shes got horse sense.Hes got plenty of notches on his gun.Shes a right smart windmill fixer.He could find a whisper in a whirlwind.Theres no slack in her rope.Hes a three-jump cowboy.He can ride the rough string.If she crows, the sun is up.This aint my first rodeo. The Lone Star State is a unique place. 130 Birthday Quotes To Make Someones Special Day - wow4u Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan, comedian "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Wishing you a cheerful 60th birthday. (Throwing up. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved worldwide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards, One day, it just dawned on me that Im from Texas, and thats what I am. Sissy Spacek, People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. 50+ Famous Happy Birthday Quotes From Notable Personalities Emily McCullar is a senior editor covering pop culture, news, and Texas history. This is hog-killing weather.Theres only a strand of barbed wire between here and there, and its down (after a blizzard).Cold as a well-diggers knee.Cold as a frosted frog.Cold as an ex-wifes heart.Cold as a cast-iron commode.Cold as a bankers heart.Cold as hell with the furnace out.